*purposely drop something in front of my crush*

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(Source: the-anal-rapist)

when ur going to the mall

and u actually have money

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(Source: kawaiigod)

no idea if this paper is GOOD but its DONE

An anthology of short stories by college students

(Source: grimdarkthroes)

don’t hurt BEES. they just want to pollinate flowers and make honey. hurt WASPS. fuck them and their old money, big mansions, and country clubs

(Source: korpsekobain)

at your next eye exam tell your doctor “all i see is signs all i see is dollar signs”

(Source: ostracizedpoodle)

*identifies the cutest boy in the room .5 seconds after entering*

(Source: ilovesmoothjazz1998)

when the blunt was stronger than you thought it was

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(Source: rations)

when you go to pet a dog and it growls at you

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(Source: precumming)

seeing your friends when you’re with a really cute person

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(Source: hi)

Anonymous: how do you give a bj

gnarly:

get a bible and start reading it out loud i promise u will blow him away with the word of the lord

April fools prank: replace all of the sugar in your house with cocaine

(Source: gordonramsaysbutt)

me: im going to fucking stab you

straight white boy: haha then what? ;) 

(Source: jetbag)

my coworker just told me about a kid he knew in second grade that was really allergic to peanuts but one day during lunch he said that he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to know what reeses taste like so he pulled out his epipen, ate the reese cup then stabbed himself with the epipen and told the teacher to call the hospital and that kid is the most hardcore kid I’ve ever heard of I wanna be his friend 

(Source: br0lan)

i have three moods

  • 420
  • 69
  • 666

(Source: realfurry)

i love boys with with really strong accents like irish or scottish. i don’t have a clue what they’re saying. i love it. i hate hearing a coherent boy. i don’t actually care about what you have to say.

(Source: buzzedfeed)