But why is the rum gone?

200

i’m watching fear factor

they have to eat five

live

scorpions

4 notes

7834

parents: "can we use your computer for a minute"

me: wipes internet history deletes bookmarks changes passwords changes desktop wallpaper encrypts all folders installs internet explorer opens it up at google

me: "yeah sure here you go"

When someone sneaks up behind me and pinches my sides to tickle me

(Source: thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)

56,726 notes

4546

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

First, go grab some headphones. The best ones you’ve got. If the best ones you’ve got are these suckers (or something similar), you should really go buy new ones, but use the best you’ve got for right now.

Take a break from whatever you’re doing for 2 minutes and listen, but just listen to the whole thing, even if you have to multi-task.

Headphones on? Ok. Good.

Now, press play.

133,894 notes

29

Whenever somebody rings my doorbell and i’m home alone:

ding dong
omfg
.
.
turn down music
ding dong
omfg shut up
do you think he heard my music
.
….
.
ninja roll from my room to living room window
peak out window corner so murderer doesn’t see me
is it grandma?
no creepy man
obviously a murderer
fuck
NO CAT DONT GO THERE HE’LL SHOOT YOU FIRST
fuck is the door even locked
duck, ninja roll back to room
.
.
ding dong
fuck you nobody’s home
.
.
.
.
k he’s gone
music back to full blast

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